Desire God and He gives you the desires of your heart

Just the other day I was reading my book and the author was telling about her life and how God had worked through her to start and be involved in ministries. She ended by saying how she looks back and sees how God gave her the desires of her heart. As I read her story my heart bled to feel that way. I have passions and desires in my heart. I see needs, and ideas of way to change and improve things. So many times I have tried to start things and they fall through, or the timing doesn't work out. I found myself asking God, when will that be me? All of a sudden I felt as if I must be failing, because every big idea I had ever had seemed as if it had failed. I ended that day missing the point of that chapter. But God is a big God, and He doesn't let you miss a message He wants you to hear. Over the next few weeks my mind would constantly wonder to the questions on my heart. I wondered if the passions I had felt in my heart were misplaced. I wondered if I was supposed to "desire" something else. I wondered if I hadn't bee faithful with a little God had given me so would He never give me more? I continued to read in 1 Kings how God takes care of Israel and continues to work out His plan even through evil Kings who did not even follow Him. Verses in my reading continued to come up with God as in control.  Over the week I watched as my family tried to work out a plan for my grandma to be taken care of. I saw how my family never could have imagined the situation they were in now, and I continued to hear God's whisper to trust Him. That Saturday night I talked to my uncle about how he got to where he was in his ministries. I heard about a man who was given a career he never planned to have! And how that career led him into more ministries; how God used his life in ways he never planned, but were dreams come true for him! On Sunday I listened as my Pastor tell of how he prayed, planned, and sought to plant a church. He even had the city picked out! He truly gelt led to start there! But his plans fell through, and God led Him, through his providence, to our church, where he now ministers with a passion knowing this is where God wants him. On Monday I had to do   one of the hardest things for me, which may seem so little and minuscule to others, I said goodbye to my younger cat Bobbi. My parents had been kinda and said they would give her a home. On Monday night I talked to my parents about how she was doing and was filled with a sense of peace and joy as they claimed she was comfortable and happy. That week as I enjoyed the new found peace of just one cat, and the extra love and attention from Marigold as she came out of her shell now that her "competing nuisance" was gone I heard God's many reminders that trusting in Him to lead your life plans, really does lead to peace and joy. I knew the lesson God wanted me to learn. What was common among all the lives I learned about, was that no matter our detailed plans, our desire to serve God and do His will in our lives is what He will give to us. Our plans may not end up looking like His plans, but if our desire is to follow and serve Him, we are on the right path.
I reflected on my life and where God had led me. I see the blessings he has poured out on me as I have followed Him, even all the way to Missouri! God has been blessing my year by year with desires of my heart and He has placed me where I am serving Him. I need to continue to focus on Him, and let Him continue to be the desire of my heart and not fret when the "plans" I made fell through, because His plans never do!


Proverbs 16: 9
In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their course.

Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails

It is a matter of the Heart

Reading this past week has included some of 1 Kings, a few early Psalms, and Chapters from the book Women Living Well. Reading David as always left me with a craving the title of "after God's own heart," and feeling like I am falling short of it. I believe a small part of me has always felt jealous, as if God loved David more then me and I could never compete with him. Reading the transition from the kingdom of David to the Kingdom of Solomon I had a deep realization. David loved God, and came back to him time and time again after his sins. Solomon sought wisdom, and followed God only the first part of his life, but did not continue to seek him until the end of his life, even though he was the wises man to ever live!! All of Solomon's wisdom couldn't convince the heart.  Each king after Solomon is judged and blessed based on if His heart was seeking God.
 For the first time reading about David and searching out what God is telling me from his stories I now know it is not about some untouchable love relationship with God, but a very real and present love. Early I wrote how my job is to love God, seek that relationship with Him. The story of David is just that! The story of David is God responding to a heart that is continually coming back to God, returning to seek His presence, His grace, and His love. David sings praises of God because his mind is ever turning to God. David knows to seek forgiveness and grace from God when he has done wrong, because his mind is on God. I am continually plagued with a "be perfect," or "to do" struggle in my life. I look at things and say what are the steps I have to do to be at the level God wants me. The more God works on my life the more He continues to teach me that is isn't about a level of relationship with Him. We are not in a competition with David, or Saul or any of the people in the Bible we see with these "great" relationships with God. They are examples of people who are sinners just like us, whose hearts are continually captured by God. God loves us with a crazy, unfathomable, amazing love! That doesn't change because of our accomplishments. Davids psalms of praise to God, of singing of His attributes, of his sorrows of sins, those all come from Davids heart as it is turned to God. When I turn my heart to God everyday, I start turning to Him every minute. When I read about God, I see Him in everything continually. When I see God so much throughout the day my mind is blown and my heart is full! I am continually looking around me in awe of God. I am continually looking back at the life He has set about me, at how He takes care of me and my soul sings in amazement of His control and power and goodness in my life! David is not in the Bible because he is a megaman, but because he is an example to us of what a heart for God looks like. He is not a measurement of comparison. He is a picture of God using a sinful person for a great plan, when all he did was love and seek God. Isn't that what God's message is continually in the Bible? Seek after Him and He will set up your plans, He will give you the desires of your heart. Seek Him and you will find Him!

Deuteronomy 4:29 NIV

But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all yourheart and with all your soul.

Deuteronomy 4:29 NIV

But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Psalm 53:2 NIV

God looks down from heaven on the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, any whoseek God.

Psalm 63:1 NIV

[A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.] O God, you are my God, earnestly Iseek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Acts 17:27 NIV

God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.

Hebrews 11:6 NIV

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Let God be GOD!

Let God be GOD!! 

This is the resounding message I have heard this last week. When I continually ask myself what God is showing me, He has shown me HE is the doer, not me, and I have to TRUST Him. Very recently there have been many life changing scenarios approaching, and I being the planning, controlling, Human that I am have started analyzing every angle, of every possible further choice, along with all possible solutions to the many possible scenarios of the MANY choices that MAY happen to come up soon! As crazy as that sounds when I say it like that, what I was trying to do was prepare myself for every situation to make the best choice believing that I really know best and can control things. As many know when this happened STRESS is what follows. The reason is, is that we cannot know how everything plays out, what options we have when the time to make a choice comes, what each of those choices could lead too, which will make us happier better people. God is the only all-knowing one out there. God is the only one who can control what choices we are offered. God is the only one who can take any choice we make and bless it no matter what struggles and difficulties come from it. So I need to let God do His thing! The reason I stress is because I struggle with allowing God to do His things, believing that I am the only one who could possible do it right. Now I don't flat out say that, but I show it from my actions when I continually choose to control things (or attempt and plan to) instead of allowing God to.
I need to let go of God's job and refocus on my job. God is full of mercy, and its not my job to strive for perfection in my life. My job is to strive for a relationship. God's goal is to bring glory to himself, and I share in that as well. We just have different ways of going about it. God creates and changes lives, I learn more about Him, spend time with Him so that I can better sing His praise and share about Him. I bring Him glory when I show the world that when chaos and stress abound around me, I can sit back peacefully and rely on my God. I bring glory to God in my heart and show Him to the world when situations don't turn out happy, when struggles and hurt do come from certain choices and situations and I choose to be content and thankful to Him for his providence, care and love. That'y my job. And it brings peace, joy, and an overwhelming sense of God's love - not stress!

New way of thinking

I love the summer! I love the heat, I love the sun, and I LOVE my free time! Summers are almost always my mountain top time of the year. During the summer is when I start to "get it right" I make my own schedule so finally I get back to my morning routines I love. These mornings consist of sitting down with a warm cup of coffee, my Bible, a challenging book and most importantly some intimate God time. My weakness is, and has been for a long time - keeping this up until the end of the summer and into the school year. I know once school starts I can't sip on coffee, read, and pray for hours like I can now, but going from 2 to nil is not the way it should be either. A month into my summer break and I have already started to struggle with daily prayer and reading time. I am challenging myself (and asking others to do the same to me) to stay consist, even if the time amount changes. So far during these times I have found myself constantly pondering how I can go deeper in my time reading my Bible. This summer God seems to be poking me and saying "Hey, this book is important! Read it to know it!" My husband and I have been reading straight through together. I have done this a few times and considered it enough times. This was because while I read the old testament and love the stories I have found it hard to find it challenging to me. My husband is the one who started to get me thinking differently. So while I somewhat begrudgingly in my spirit started reading through from the beginning, God began to challenge me about that begrudgingness and asking me why it was that if He put it in there as important, I wasn't able to "get anything out go it" This led to many months of me having this topic in my head. At the start of the summer I started a new book in my reading time. One of the reasons I loved this book (Lies Women believe - read my post!) is that the author continually used scriptures to back up her writing. I started noticing a lot of Old Testament! This only dug in deeper into me that what I was reading through now was important, did have relevant truths to my life, and I needed to see them! Still I wasn't sure how to! The beginning of June started a serious of meeting at my church during the week. The first lesson was about Love, most importantly our love relationship with God. The speaker stressed that your time reading the Bible is not about how much time you read, what you read, or how much, but what you learn about God. He challenged us to read slowly, read details, pray while we read, and ask ourselves, "what did I learn about God through this?" All of these came together to me into a a lightbulb. All that I read, all that I do and study is to really to know God more in order to be more intimate with Him and glorify him more in my life. So my daily challenge now to myself is to ask that question, " What is God showing me about himself today." And each day, as I read my Bible, my book, as I pray, as I sing along to the radio, talk to friends, clean the house, cook dinner, enjoy private conversations with God, enjoy His beauty-What is He revealing about Himself to me.

Book Review: Love at Last Sight by Kerry & Chris Shook

While reading Love at Last sight I was refreshed by the practicality and usefulness of this books. This books gives you the challenge of deepening your relationships with those most important to you. While reading this book I was faced with many truths about relationships I already "knew" and seemed "obvious." While they may seem like" I already knew that" points they are put in a way that are concise and alongside examples of how we neglect to act on those truths in our relationships. This book gives you challenges each day to work on that when acted upon truly to help you to enhance your relationships and deepen them. While reading this book I found myself continually challenged on how to love, treat, and think of others in ways that helped me grow as a person. While I did have a hard time reading this in thirty days, the challenges still impacted nonetheless. I plan on keeping this book, recommending it to others, and to hopefully reread it with a friend to help keep me accountable as I renew the strength of the relationships of those that are important to me. If you are looking for a book that can give you step by step practical ways to grow deeper friendships and a greater understanding of how Christ loves us, this book is an excellent choice. I received this book free from Waterbrook Multnomah Publishers for review purposes.
If this sounds like something that would interest you check out http://waterbrookmultnomah.com/bloggingforbooks

God's Crazy Love

Ever get those lessons from God, over, and over, and over? Even when you think you've already learned them!?! I feel that this happens quite frequently. Especially lately. I think it's not such the learning the content of the lesson, but the practice that is important. The first time we go through things we either do it wrong, and then see the mistakes to learn from, or as we are going through whatever ordeal or trial we seek God step by step. Either way its a learning process. In these beginning steps its all about learning the mechanics, the knowledge, what we are supposed to do. The next time around, its more practicing. I know for me, every time I have to continually go back to seeking that wisdom and knowledge, each time I remember more and more of it on my own. I still need those words right in front of me to help me see clearly what I need to do. Every time I always learn this sub lesson: its not about me its about God. I am completly incapable of doing this, and I need to allow and trust God to work it out for me. Ok maybe thats not the sub lesson, maybe thats the main lesson and the ordeal or trial I'm working through is the sublesson...that actually makes more sense! Recently I've been learning a lot about putting others completely before me, no matter how much I don't want to. I've been learning about loving others, even when they hurt me or I feel betrayed by them. I'm learning to deal with people in real sense. People in their imprefections. More importently not just their imperfections, but their imperfections that are affecting me! It's easy to love somoone who is good for you, who builds you up, makes you a e better person, or brings joy into your life. Then there is loving the people we know have imperfections, we see them and we say "I have imperfections. Its ok. I love you." but what about when those imperfections affect us? What happens when people mess up towards us and it hurts? What happens when friends don't do friendly things? When people you thought you could trust, it turns out you cant? What about those people who just make your time miserable? Then things aren't really so easy. Especailly when our natural mindset as humans is to take care of ourselves. It's all about us, even when we think its really not. How do we love people when there is not only absolutely nothing in it for us, but it actually hurts us?! It all goes back to God and His love for us. **For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16** God loves us so much that He purposely hurt Himself. He knew He would have to send Jesus, His Son! Not only to live as a human, but to be emotionally battered and hurt, but physically tortured as well! He would even forsake Him and turn His away from Him. He saw that coming. Not only that, but afterwards He continues to love us and extend His forgiveness. THAT is CRAZY love! I don't think I will EVER be able to love like God loves. But, that's what makes God so holy, and perfect. In order to glorify Him, I need to strive my best to be Holy as He is Holy, and to love others as HE loves. It's crazy, but its God, and He is kindly, and gently helping me to learn day by day. Wow. <3 **So Blessed**

It's Christmas Time

Christmas day. There is so much meaning behind it, so many memories, so many stories. So many ways to unravel a mystery. Christmas day celebrates the presentation and opening of the greatest gift of love the world has ever seen. It was God's final and greatest gift of Jesus. The gift that continues to give and give and give. Since the world had began God had been wooing and chasing the world. Loving us with the desire for us to love Him back. Step by step He took, bringing himself closer to us. With much resistance from us. Slowly we cave, as we see His love for us over and over. Then in a final act of complete sacrificial love, He sends His son. When what did we ever do for Him? And what did He ever want from us, but our love?

God's love for His people Isreal:
"The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
I will build you up again,
and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt."

God's promise to his people:

"For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the greatness of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the LORD Almighty
will accomplish this."

God's Love for the World"
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life"

God's Gift:
"Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

A promise from Jesus:

"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

The beautiful beginning of a wonderful promise of love. A love that holds on. A love that is unfailing. A love that says I see you for who you are, and I will do what it takes to win you. And after that I will never leave you. Knowing all that He knows about us, He chooses us, and wants us to choose Him back. A love like that, how can we fathom it? Who can reject it?
Isn't it what we all long for? to be loved with a love like His? How exciting and humbling to know that we are <3

So let this Christmas time begin the unwrapping of His love for you.