Friday, April 23, 2010

Is it really almost the end of April??

I feel like I'm missing spring, although it is still very beautiful here in Missouri. I have mixed feelings. There aren't many bright ground flowers(which I hear there are more in May) but the tress are beautiful with their soft colors. Here the trees bloom! I have seen a few in Florida, but here they are everywhere! But now they are starting to change to the light green baby leaves. I feel like it's leaving to fast. And I'm still unhappy with the weather. One day its warm and perfect the next week its gotten cold again! Gah!
Speaking of flowers, I'm hoping to plant a flower garden. All I have done is talk really, but I just got my paycheck so maybe I can budget some tools and flowers in. I'm mostly putting this information up to keep me accountable to it. I don't want to write again (probably next month at my rate) and say I never did it. We shall see how green my thumb is in the garden. Is it a green thumb if you are good at it or bad at it?
Once again, my monthly due of sickness has come. I really hate being sick. Everyone says its because I'm in my first year, well I hope it gets over with soon. I already feel so pressured with all I need and want to do. When I get sick I feel like I get even more behind. My room was slightly messy, now it's a complete disaster!! *sigh*
Update on the job situation: I got an interview!! I received a call Wednesday from a school wanting an interview with me the next morning! So I made frantic calls, ended up picking the 9:30 and my teacher said it would be O.K if I was gone the first few hours. So without any preparation, along with suffering the first mighty blows of the flu I went to the interview. I was able to really take time to pray the day before and right before the interview. I feel like that really helped a lot. I felt very relaxed and just knew that God was looking out for me. I know He is anyway just from all He has already done. I didn't cough, sneeze of suffer nose drips the whole time I was in there. Of course as soon as I left I was overcome with it :-p I felt like the interview went really well. Of course we will still have to wait and see. Just because the interview went well doesn't mean I was the best or most capable for them. Either way it helped me feel better about myself, know God's in control, and get some interview practice. Maybe even if they don't hire me my current boss will feel the pressure to keep me more and help me out a little bit with a little more pay and responsibility :) I plan on sending a "thank you" note soon, and a little late a return call asking when I will know if the position has been filled. I'm really praying that if this job isn't the best for my situation now that it just won't even be an option. I don't want to have to worry about it. I know it might be hard for me to take on more responsibility and help my Grandma out, but I hope that I can take on the responsibility and still do a good job and use the extra pay to help out even more. I also know that at times I find it hard right now, so who knows. At the same time, is life, being responsible, living for others, using limited resources wisely ever easy?? :)
On the down note I just found out my Grandma Monks ( on my mom's side) is not doing well. She is in the hospital and there is nothing more they can do. Its all up to her how she recovers her strength. She seems to be giving up and not wanting to try to get better. I'm worried about that. I don't want her to let go. I need her to stick around. I was just really getting to know her better, not much, but better. It's hard when so much of my life she's been so far away. If you read this please pray for her. She will need it.
To sum it all up: God is great and He is in control.