Thursday, December 18, 2014

For the cry babies

This is for the all the cry babies out there, those of us who feel like we are constantly getting into "emotional train wrecks," who cry at the hint of a love scene, can't stand the least bit of anger or sadness in a movie, and sob like no ones business when others may be tearing up a little. We the emotional ones, more often then not woman.
  I am one of those who seems to always be more emotional then others. I have been caught many a time crying on the couch while reading a sad, cheesy love story. For much of my life I have been at least slightly embarrassed of my emotions to downright upset at them. I have, for the longest time, felt that my emotions have been a constant struggle as I try to maintain them at a constant even level. The worst downfall of my emotions is that I have trouble, at times, controlling my anger; many times at very small things. When I was younger, believe it or not, I actually got into such rages that I would fist fight with my brother. I would break into such rages, and not be able to control myself until I had gone too far. Then I would run and cry in my shame at myself and what I had done. I have always been embarrassed when during a movie, or sermon, or book reading I would start crying and realize NO ONE else around me was! I hated it! I would fight it with all that I had. I was so embarrassed that such small sad things could move me so much. The plus side is that I can be very happy and excited about the small things in life. I can walk outside and see a small new blossom on a bush and it carry me through the rest of a hard day. I just didn't accept all that I was.
Genesis 1: 27 So God created man in his own image, 
in the image of God he created him; 
male and female he created them.

I thought that my emotions were a part of my human struggle against sin. I could never accept that part of myself. Recently God has opened my eyes a little more to who He sees me as.  God created us in His own image, and different parts of us reflect different aspects of God. God loves each of us for who we are, and He made us to be unique in many different ways!

Ps. 139:14 I praise you 
because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Col. 1:16 For by him all things were created: 
things in heaven and on earth, 
visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities;
 all things were created by him and for him.

Yes, my struggle with controlling my anger to not lead me to sin is a huge temptation for me. Praise God that He has done huge numbers in that area of my heart! There is a wonderful truth in knowing that I am made FOR  him! He has mad me wonderfully, and I should praise Him for that! Not shut myself down in shame. But if I am to praise God with ALL that I am, then my emotions are a part of that. His works are wonderful! God has shown me that my emotions are a beautiful part of who He made me. I am created uniquely so that I can praise God in a unique way! When my heart is stirred to tears because of a beautiful sunrise, God is glorified by my hearts praise! When singing a song of praise to God for His mercy and my heart floods with tears of thanks, that is my body proclaiming to God my uttermost thanks. Every time I read the story of the crucifixion, and my heart sinks in overwhelming sadness and awe of Gods love demonstrated I am weeping with Him. I cannot be ashamed of tears for the pain Jesus spilled for us, yet for so many years I fought them with thoughts of being "a  silly little girl." God has showed me just how beautiful all of me is to him.

Ps. 29:1-2  Ascribe to the LORD, O mighty ones, 
ascribe to the LORD glory and strength. 
2 Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name;
 worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness

If we are to praise Him with all of our hearts, with all that we are, that includes the parts of us that at times we are embarrassed about. God finds beauty in who He created you to be. Use your beautiful aspects to bring Him praise! I know there are others out there who have felt like I have, struggled against themselves. See your self as God does, His beautiful, unique creation, created for His special purposes and worth dying over.