It's Christmas Time

Christmas day. There is so much meaning behind it, so many memories, so many stories. So many ways to unravel a mystery. Christmas day celebrates the presentation and opening of the greatest gift of love the world has ever seen. It was God's final and greatest gift of Jesus. The gift that continues to give and give and give. Since the world had began God had been wooing and chasing the world. Loving us with the desire for us to love Him back. Step by step He took, bringing himself closer to us. With much resistance from us. Slowly we cave, as we see His love for us over and over. Then in a final act of complete sacrificial love, He sends His son. When what did we ever do for Him? And what did He ever want from us, but our love?

God's love for His people Isreal:
"The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
I will build you up again,
and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt."

God's promise to his people:

"For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the greatness of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the LORD Almighty
will accomplish this."

God's Love for the World"
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life"

God's Gift:
"Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

A promise from Jesus:

"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

The beautiful beginning of a wonderful promise of love. A love that holds on. A love that is unfailing. A love that says I see you for who you are, and I will do what it takes to win you. And after that I will never leave you. Knowing all that He knows about us, He chooses us, and wants us to choose Him back. A love like that, how can we fathom it? Who can reject it?
Isn't it what we all long for? to be loved with a love like His? How exciting and humbling to know that we are <3

So let this Christmas time begin the unwrapping of His love for you.

Proud of You

This is a song that was translated from Chinese into English. We are learning it in our class here in English for a performance the students are doing. I love the lyrics and little pieces jump out with special meaning to me. I also love that I relate so many of these lines to Gods relationship with me. He has helped me so much and taught me so much. He has sent many people family and friends, that have helped to teach me how to love even through many difficult circumstances that would turn people away. Person by person He sends them into my life, opening up doors for me to learn to love in many new ways. Starting me in the safety of his wings He has taught me to fly. He has helped me to be proud of that. And I will daily give the best of mine to Him, and never fly away.




Proud of You - Fiona Fung




Love in your eyes
Sitting silent by my side
Going on Holding hand
Walking through the nights
Hold me up Hold me tight
Lift me up to touch the sky
Teaching me to love with heart
Helping me open my mind

I can fly
I'm proud that I can fly
To give the best of mine
Till the end of the time
Believe me I can fly
I'm proud that I can fly
To give the best of mine
The heaven in the sky

Stars in the sky
Wishing once upon a time
Give me love Make me smile
Till the end of life
Hold me up Hold me tight
Lift me up to touch the sky
Teaching me to love with heart
Helping me open my mind

I can fly
I'm proud that I can fly
To give the best of mine
Till the end of the time
Believe me I can fly
I'm proud that I can fly
To give the best of mine
The heaven in the sky

Can't you believe that you light up my way
No matter how that ease my path
I'll never lose my faith
See me fly
I'm proud to fly up high
Show you the best of mine
Till the end of the time
Believe me I can fly
I'm singing in the sky
Show you the best of mine
The heaven in the sky
Nothing can stop me
Spread my wings so wide

Here is the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-h1a10qWUos

Finding your Chazown: Review of the Book Chazown by Craig Groeschel

The first thing I thought and heard from others when I mentioned this book at what it was about was, " oh another purpose for your life book." Needless to say, I wasn't very excited about reading the book. That all changed once I actually began to delve into the book.
This book does for me what I wanted from the Purpose Driven Life. I don't want to down play that book in any way, but this book gave me the answers to what I really wanted to know. I wanted to know specifics. I wanted to know what my job was in life, and I was I to know I was on the right track.
The cover of the book contains this statement, " Define your vision. Pursue your passion. Live your life on purpose." This book helps you do exactly that. This book is an excellent tool and resource for anybody, whether or not you think you have your life pegged to be exactly what it should be. This book takes you step by step into how to take the commands God has given us as His creation and Christians living for him and combine those with the passions and desires He has put in us through our upbringing, personalities, and experiences. It even helps you to figure out what those are! Then it shows you how you can drive your life to life out those passions and put a Gods HUGE purpose for your life to work. What I love the most about this book is how concrete it is and the resources it provides. Its easy to understand. Its clear and concise. It does however give you homework to do. They are questions you have to answer about yourself to help you figure out exactly who you are and what your purpose is. I love the online resources as well that are FREE! There activities to help with each chapter. There is even a gifts test. Whether you think you have life right where you want it, or are struggling to figure out where you fit in the big picture I recommend this book. I'm not going to tell you it will answer all your questions, or that you will agree with it all, but I definitely think that it will get you thinking more about your life and how it fits into the big scheme of things.


I received this book free from Waterbrook Multnomah Publishers for review purposes.
If this sounds like something that would interest you check out http://waterbrookmultnomah.com/bloggingforbooks

Winter with a little bit of Fall - An actual life update!

Work Update
This Fall I started off working once again at Oakhill Day School with the same position I had last year. I was again an assistant in a PK class with one o my favorite teachers ever - Janelle! I do love that school. I love all of those kids, and all of the teachers there. I love many of the things that school stands for and works towards. Yet I still couldn't wait to teach more, and working there I had to work the assistant job and the kids club, which was a very busy and stressful schedule.
After a few months there I received a call from the North Kansas City School district asking if I would be interested in interviewing for a new job position they would be creating. This job they created is a long term sub position in special education. There were enough Special Education teachers leaving throughout the year for Maternity leave and not enough subs with the requirements that they needed to hire someone with the requirements to do this all year. They said they had come across my application and were interested. I said yes - very enthusiastically. Then they only called one reference and said they had practically blown me out of the water with praise. I couldn't believe it. It seemed the perfect job. After over a year of my application being in that system they had finally noticed it! Not only that but my reference from years ago had remembered and loved me! I can only give praise to God for how He orchestrated everything so perfectly. With all the teachers and recent graduates in the area looking for a job I know God's hand was in this truly blessing me.
In November I started my new job. I do miss my old school, but I love the excitement of the new schools and job positions. It is great to be finally making decisions again and actually teaching and putting to practice all that I learned in school. I make a little less per month, but it's the same every month, had good benefits, and the paychecks will extend through the summer. I will be seeing different schools, and different positions. All of this experience will help me in multiple ways with getting a full time teaching job.
So far I have been at three different schools. I was only two days at a school called Golden Oaks. Its an end of the road school for most kids. It has a very tough crowd. I saw every one of those kids explode at least once, was cussed at, and stabbed at with a pencil by Kindergartners and first graders. I was definitely intimidated by it at first, but I did love it there and the intensity and importance of every day in those kids lives.
The second school I was at was West Englewood. Here I was a resource teacher for grade 1-5. This was a great experience to refresh me on many 1-1 and small group interventions for many different skills and grade levels, and behavior problem techniques. I did learn that I'm not really into resource room teaching. There was too much down time and not enough excitement. I really like having a class to run. I really grew to love those kids and I made many friends at this school and was sad to go.
With my next position I definitely made up for my last position in excitement and action. This class NEVER gets boring. I am currently at Bell Prairie in a self-contained class with five kids K-2nd all on the Autism Spectrum. I have three aids in the room with me who I am very grateful to have every day. This is such a new experience, far from any experience I have ever had. I do love those kids, and really want to help them learn. It is a very stressful and exhausting job though, more so then any other teaching experience I have. I no very little when it comes to Autism, and it doesn't help that almost every student is different in their needs. This makes me even more excited to be able to do this position. I am learning so much, and stretching myself more then I would have tried to on my own.
I still really would like to try to teach Middle school and see how I like it and do. That is the last area I have yet to have some teaching experience in. I really think I would enjoy it. We will see what new placement I receive after Spring Break

Family Updates
In November my brother was married! I have a new wonderful sister in law. I am so excited for them both. She is a neat, fun, beautiful, and godly young woman. I can't wait to see how God uses their lives. The only bad thing is they live all the way in CA. They need to live here with me! or is Fl so I can at least visit them when I visit the rest of my family. Oh well, there are many years, hopefully, of our lives left yet. We will see where God sends us all.
I have niece! I am so excited to meet this sweet little girl. I have to say the whole time Krystle was pregnant I was rooting for a little girl. Her name is Arabella and she is the most beautiful and wonderful little baby girl. I haven't been able to meet her yet, but I have seen the pictures and heard many stories. I think the hardest thing about living here, is how far away it makes me from those closest to me. It has been especially hard with the birth of my niece. I want so much to be there and know I can't, and it makes me miss everyone and everything with such a greater intensity. I know this is where God wants me, and I take comfort knowing that He is taking care of everything, everyone, and helping me to be used by Him in great ways.
My Grandma has been doing well. She is still in a wheelchair, but trying to use a little less. We had a very fun Valentines day. Chris and I bought her flowers, presents and chocolates. She was very excited and pleased. She couldn't believe all she got. That night I made a yummy dinner and we watched a movie together. I also moved her bird feeder over by the kitchen table window and Chris and I have been good about keeping bird feeder in it. So now birds are coming back and I can tell she loves it. She mentions it every time I come home how she has enjoyed seeing the birds and wondering if we need to put more seed out. I love being able to do small things like that for her and having her get so much joy out of it.

Activities Updates
I'm going to Thailand! I have talked my friend Abby into going to Thailand with me in June. We have already found a place to volunteer at, created a website, and now are working on raising funds for our Mission Trip. It is very exciting to be doing this all on our own. I knew I had to go soon and be back in Thialand. I love those people, and love how just how coming over there makes such a difference to them. I can't wait to see all that God is going to do in this adventure. Here is the link to my website I made http://web.me.com/jessm29/Mission/Main.html
I also had my first time ice skating last week with friends. It was lots of fun. I like the environment, but IT HURTS! My ankles had bruises on them, and ended up very sore at the end of a few hours. I think I enjoy rollerblading more. THere is less pain, and its easier and smoother, but who does that any more?!? Sad :-p
I also was able to go to the Winter Jam concert. I liked every band, and LOVED most of them. It was an incredible fun night. That is one thing I do like about being in Kansas City, there are concerts, events, and things to do all around you, you just have to know people to do them with and know where they are.

:)

Ok I think thats enough for now! Hopefully I can

Why? : The baffling question

Someone asked me the other day if I went to church every Sunday, and then why?
I felt like the answer I gave wasn't quite adequate. For some reason I kept pondering that question. Why was it? what drove me to want to go every Sunday even when I "didn't want" to go. I know reasons that aren't why. It's not because I feel I HAVE to go. It isn't because I feel like I'm slighting God if I don't. I don't think I will disappoint Him. I don't have to uphold myself to some lofty level of achievement set up my my parents or friends or others in the church. It's not because I want to see my friends. Which I do, but the few minutes of short conversation with a small majority of my friends doesn't really justify over an hours worth of time.
There are some small reasons. One of which I listed. If you don't go once, it makes it easier to miss next time and to do it over and over again. This is true, but still doesn't hold a candle to the real drive. There is the accountability offered by fellow Christians there that we as Christians need. But if your involved enough you can get the from bible studies too or just your good friends who you talk to throughout the week. THere is the good sermon with the applicable life principles to start your week. But you can always listen or watch one, even read a good book.
I kept thinking of all of these ideas as I rolled out of bed late with heavy, fuzzy eyes, struggled to pick an outfit, rushed through a shower, blasted my hair as fast as I could to get it dry, skipped breakfast and headed out into the cold, mushy outdoors. I arrived a few minutes late. I drove around looking for a spot, parked far away, walked though more cold mush. I came in to be seated in the awkwardly to close for me position of the 2nd row next someone I didn't know, and never had a chance to meet the whole time.
But my focus wasn't on those things, those were obstacles that meant nothing to the drive. And there I was surrounded by people I didn't know. People who had gone through just as much if not more pains to get here. There we were all together for one reason. It thought about what I felt inside as I sang the songs. Who it was I was here to see. What it meant to me, to my life,a and to others. I knew the reason.
Its the same reason I get up early some days just to sit on the floor and talk, when there is no voice audibly talking back, and no visual image showing me I am being listened to. Its the same reason I moved from those who were closest and dearest to me, to be a help to someone who needed me more. The same reason I spend my money on feminine products for old ladies, and small little gifts for far away friends.
Its the same reason you would walk by a bouquet of flowers and think of someone special to you and buy them without a visible cause. The same reason you reach out for the hand of your companion that sits next to you. The same reason you call your loved one in the middle of the night who's far away on the other side of the world, just to talk. The same reason even when your child is driving you up the wall, you will reach out and hug them.
It's a very powerful four lettered word that powers much of what we do.

"Amazing love how can it be?
That you my king would die for me
Amazing love I know it's true
Its my joy to honor you
In all I do
I honor you"

The search for the "right one" as told by - Myself

The right one...

We are always searching for them. We wonder who they are and what they will be like. We proclaim our ideas of the true right one. We give them an identity. An identity that is always changing as we try to discover who the right one is for us. We want the one that is our "type" and fits our "list." We may sit alone, waiting and waiting, imagining the "perfect person" God has picked out for us.
We may meet someone and be floored. They are perfect they may even be right for you in ways you hadn't even known were just your type. You list off to your friends how there couldn't be anyone who matched your "right ones" criteria any more. Then it doesn't work out, they aren't interested, they have a bad side, or the differences are too much. That must not have been the one God wanted me with. We move on and meet someone else. Compare them, add and delete features from our list, move some items to not as important, some to more important.
Where does this all lead us? We end up confused. What had we really wanted? What was the right type? We wonder will the "right one" be the dream idea I used to have when I was 13. Or will they be more like how I pictured when I was 17, 20, 30 etc. Are they the drop dead beauty, the brainiac, the cute but goofy one. We have chased after so many dreams. What was it in the end we really wanted.
Then there are the ones who seem to find them. They get married settle down and live a blissful life. But unless they've figured out the truth, they still aren't satisfied. Either they turn away from their partner, determining it must never have been right, or they set off on another search. Maybe its kids, the right house, the right car, the right career. There is always something keeping us going, looking for that something.
As we search and search we distract ourselves from what is right before us. The relationship that will quench that longing. We miss the perfection we searched so hard for and tried so many times to define. Until we realize that God is the one, the thing, the fulfillment of our hearts very desire, we will continue to be unsatisfied in all we meet as we try to figure out who or what is that perfect match.
It can be a revelation that can turn your world upside down. Instead of searching and searching, checking lists as the new prospects role in, or just sitting and waiting you can be living. Living a life thats full of new vigor and energy. Turning the old time into new time spent with God, the one who has been waiting for you. Time spent learning more about Him, how He loves you, and desires time and a relationship with you. You can find satisfaction, fulfillment and joy in turning everyday moments of your life into moments lived for Him. When we realize what we need to chase after is Him our need to be fulfilled by our old desires vanquishes. It's like a whole new freedom.
I'm not saying you still won't want to find someone to be with, or a nice job, or decent place to live. But the focus is not there. The expectancy and the pressure that you have to fulfill those desires or you won't live the happy life you want is gone. You no longer are looking for the answer. You have found the answer, and all else just isn't quite as important in light of His glorious face.