Sunday, February 6, 2011

Why? : The baffling question

Someone asked me the other day if I went to church every Sunday, and then why?
I felt like the answer I gave wasn't quite adequate. For some reason I kept pondering that question. Why was it? what drove me to want to go every Sunday even when I "didn't want" to go. I know reasons that aren't why. It's not because I feel I HAVE to go. It isn't because I feel like I'm slighting God if I don't. I don't think I will disappoint Him. I don't have to uphold myself to some lofty level of achievement set up my my parents or friends or others in the church. It's not because I want to see my friends. Which I do, but the few minutes of short conversation with a small majority of my friends doesn't really justify over an hours worth of time.
There are some small reasons. One of which I listed. If you don't go once, it makes it easier to miss next time and to do it over and over again. This is true, but still doesn't hold a candle to the real drive. There is the accountability offered by fellow Christians there that we as Christians need. But if your involved enough you can get the from bible studies too or just your good friends who you talk to throughout the week. THere is the good sermon with the applicable life principles to start your week. But you can always listen or watch one, even read a good book.
I kept thinking of all of these ideas as I rolled out of bed late with heavy, fuzzy eyes, struggled to pick an outfit, rushed through a shower, blasted my hair as fast as I could to get it dry, skipped breakfast and headed out into the cold, mushy outdoors. I arrived a few minutes late. I drove around looking for a spot, parked far away, walked though more cold mush. I came in to be seated in the awkwardly to close for me position of the 2nd row next someone I didn't know, and never had a chance to meet the whole time.
But my focus wasn't on those things, those were obstacles that meant nothing to the drive. And there I was surrounded by people I didn't know. People who had gone through just as much if not more pains to get here. There we were all together for one reason. It thought about what I felt inside as I sang the songs. Who it was I was here to see. What it meant to me, to my life,a and to others. I knew the reason.
Its the same reason I get up early some days just to sit on the floor and talk, when there is no voice audibly talking back, and no visual image showing me I am being listened to. Its the same reason I moved from those who were closest and dearest to me, to be a help to someone who needed me more. The same reason I spend my money on feminine products for old ladies, and small little gifts for far away friends.
Its the same reason you would walk by a bouquet of flowers and think of someone special to you and buy them without a visible cause. The same reason you reach out for the hand of your companion that sits next to you. The same reason you call your loved one in the middle of the night who's far away on the other side of the world, just to talk. The same reason even when your child is driving you up the wall, you will reach out and hug them.
It's a very powerful four lettered word that powers much of what we do.

"Amazing love how can it be?
That you my king would die for me
Amazing love I know it's true
Its my joy to honor you
In all I do
I honor you"

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