Thursday, December 24, 2009

It's Christmas Eve in Kansas City

So I'm sick on Christmas Eve, the tree isn't decorated, I don't have the strength to wrap presents, my friends and family whom I have always spent Christmas with are far away, Grandma is still in the nursing home and I can't see her because I'm sick, and to top it all off it is raining instead of snowing. Christmas has always been an important day to me. I love the time, the season, the time with family, the music, the decorations, all of it. Every year I look forward to it, mostly the time with my family. This year I have really been struggling with Christmas time. For the first time in my life Christmas is extremely different. The song "Where are you Christmas" continually comes to mind. The lyrics, "My world is changing, I'm rearranging, Does that mean Christmas changes too." Always start to make me a little sad. But what I have been continually reminded of when these thoughts come is that this is really not what Christmas is about. Christmas isn't about me or how I feel. Christmas isn't about family, presents, the tree, the gifts, the snow, or the music. Even though these things do come into play at this time. And it is a wonderful time to sit down and spend with family. The ultimate purpose is to be reminded of Christ's birth and His gift to us. It's not about me, and no matter what happens to me around Christmas, the meaning for it will always be the same. That is what I have to focus on. So while it is hard not being around family right now, not seeing the family tree, having rain instead of snow, being sick in bed, being far far far away from all you know, it really is ok because the true joy of Christmas has not changed and there is still reason to celebrate. That is the real magic of Christmas, that no matter how bad or sad things may seem, Christmas will always bring "good tidings of great joy". So the rest of the lyrics of that song really seem to wrap it back around to the true attitude we should have no matter what changes:

Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh

If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time

I feel you Christmas
I know I've found you
You never fade away
The joy of Christmas
Stays here in silence
Fills each and every heart with love

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